Archive for June, 2005

A Pleasant Surprise (Raquel)

So, there’s a new pro-college blog. Yes, it’s almost a week old, but I just found out about it. I decided I should read it because it’s obviously written by women who have intelligent reasons to advocate college, not by people who think college is good just because ‘that’s what everyone does’. I knew I would disagree with the reasons and prepared to be frustrated by the read. Thankfully I discovered it right before we walked out the door and I didn’t have time to read it then. Later that evening I skimmed a few posts, but it wasn’t until this morning that I sat down to read it more thoroughly.

I was surprised to realize how much we agree on. We agree that young adults need a stage of life where they take responsiblity and learn to make their own desicions. We agree that they still need a safety net at first. We agree that learning is fun and exciting. We agree a woman should hone her intelligence, her talents and her skills to use everything God has given her to it’s utmost. We agree that learning how to think is more important than mere compilation of data. We strongly disagree on the best method of applying these ideas. There were parts of this blog that set my teeth on edge, but I don’t see any reason to go into those. Even though I won’t be reading this blog again (for a while anyway) I’m glad I read it once. It was educational.

Note–If the pro-college blog is going to frustrate you and/or induce you to leave nasty comments, just don’t click on the link. If you can read it nicely you might find it interesting.

Survey Question (Raquel)

What is the definition of education?

I’m curious about variety and overlap of opinions in the readership of this blog. If you have an opinion about the answer please post it in the comments. Summaries would be nice, but feel free to add a long winded explanation. Oh, and James and Seth–I know you’ll find something to argue about in each other definitions. When you do, could you have the discussion sometime when I can listen in but without posting a gazillion comments on the blog? (Yes, I know you would anyway, but it’s more fun to ask.)

Scary Things About Growing Up (Raquel)

  • getting sincere compliments on my writing from people who know what they’re talking about (Sure, I can practice writing, but I’m not ready to write anything good. Am I?)
  • picking up a telephone to call someone–just to say hello
  • trying to say “I love you” when someone might realize I really mean it
  • realizing that the people I look up to don’t have it all together either

He’s Getting So Big! (Gabrielle)

(Note: This is written slightly mist-eyed as the females in this house are getting hopelessly maudlin.)

He’s getting so big! Tonight Noah sat in a booster seat at the table for dinner. We had tried this before and he just wasn’t ready for it, but tonight he did really well. He was so excited when he pushed his plate out, grunted and we understood he wanted more food. When Seth filled his plate and gave it back to him he smiled so big. And he sat mostly still through family worship. When we sang he opened his mouth really big and started yelling. It was so cute. We had to make some changes like clearing a wide swathe of all breakable dishes around Noah and Samuel had a hard time concentrating because sitting next to Noah is a new and fascinating thing. I looked over at the highchair and thought that we can put it away now. I could feel my eyes misting up as I thought about wrestling that beast of a highchair down the basement stairs. Of course my eyes start misting when I think that in about six months I’m going to have to wrestle it back upstairs for the next one. This family is getting so big!

If you’ll excuse me now I have to go be really emotional.

Yes, Indeed I Am This Dense(Gabrielle)

I have been noticing a strange phenomenon cropping up in my manner of speaking. Lately I have found myself saying things like- “The other day we did such and such and I was worn out by the time it was done, but for reasons X, Y and Z it was worth it.” Or something like “We went here and we did that and I have yet to recover, but it was worth it.” I noticed this trend and I wondered at it. Why am I going out of my way to make sure I know and the person I am talking to knows that what I am doing is worth it? Why is that so important? As I have pondered this happening I think I have reached a conclusion. This life is hard and I am finally noticing.

That’s right, folks, I am just now noticing how difficult is this life I have chosen. It has finally penetrated deep into the back of my head that life is hard and my life especially. Yes, I know, I am dense. I have been doing this for a whole year; you would think I would have figured out that it is hard by now. But no, I am just now beginning to understand exactly what I have gotten myself into. It makes me think of a quote I found in a book -

“No job on earth takes more physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual strength than being a good wife and mother. If a woman is looking for the easy life she might try teaching tennis, cutting diamonds, or joining a roller derby team. There is nothing easy about good mothering. It can be back-breaking, heart wrenching, and anxiety producing. And that’s just the morning.”
 
I know I’m not a wife or mother, but I am a nanny, mother’s helper and apprentice homemaker. And those jobs are hard. But then I think about the payoff. I get to learn how to be a mother on children who are not my own and with oversight from parents who have a better idea of what they are doing than I. I get to live with these children and watch their lives and see the smiles, the tears, and the wonder in their faces. Often I feel tired and worn out. I think of how easy my life was before I came to live here. But then I think of the rewards I receive for this choice. And suddenly it is all worth it.

Someday my prince will come… (Raquel)

I just wrote a post about long term goals, so it seems that I shouldn’t have a post about short term impatience coming right after it. But I do.

I understand that fairy tale endings aren’t realistic. Maybe I don’t completely understand it at this point in my life, but I do live in a house with five children. I’ve fed them, dressed them, and cleaned up after them. I know there’s a certain amount of work involved in being a wife and mother.

But I also live in a house with two very married people. I’ve seen the stressful days, but I’ve also seen the look that James gives Theresa. I’ve seen the same look on Seth’s face when he looks at Crystal. Seth and James are two very different people, but each of them has exactly the same look that is only for his wife. It’s a look that makes the big romantic scenes in movies look fake. I noticed this while watching Armaggedon. Liv Tyler, soft music (no children screaming in the background…), romantic dialogue–and I’m just sitting there thinking, “They’re supposed to look like they’re in love? Come on, it just looks fake.”

So I’m waiting. I know I have to so many things to do with my time, things I won’t have time for after I’m married. But there’s a part of me that’s ‘being patient and getting tired of it’. Elsie is learning to read, and I’m excited about it, but part of my mind wants to know how long until I have a little girl learning to read. How long until I’m in charge of dinner for my husband and children.

I don’t have a neat little ending for this post. I know the right answers. Part of it was in my post on long term benefits. Part of was in Gabrielle’s post On Careers. Part of it is waiting on God’s timing and being content where I am. I know what I’m waiting for, and I know it’s worth it. But sometimes it’s still just hard.

From little acorns (Raquel)

I was going to post another poem I’ve written, but–you may breathe a sigh of relief–I couldn’t find it. So instead I’m going to write about oak trees.

Someday I would like to own a piece of property. Land in the country appeals to me, but I suspect my piece of property with be in the middle of Peoria. It may be a small lot but I want enough room to plant an oak tree. I want to plant a tree that I may never see full grown. A tree that my grandchildren will someday climb. I’ll try to grow other plants too, but I’m not very good at gardening. When my flowers wilt and my tomato plants get eaten, I want to be able to look at the oak tree and remember why I planted it. Some days it won’t look like I’m getting anywhere, but Lord willing, I will be training up children who will go accomplish the work that I couldn’t finish.

That’s a little bit like how I look at this blog. There a few people who read this who already understand what we’re doing and agree with us. There may be one or two who decide not to send their children to college because of this blog. More likely, the ones who disagree will still send their children to college. But maybe those children will grow up with the idea that people without college degrees can be productive and intelligent. And maybe their children will grow up and see that college is only one of the choices available. Maybe I’ll never know one way or the other. But maybe my grandchildren will.

The Wide World of Beads (Raquel)

Warning–this post really is about beading. I find the subject fascinating but you may find it rather dull.

I feel positively hyper–well, for me anyway. I’ve decided to order a bunch of beads and I have so many ideas for projects. I’ve never done any beading before. I did make a couple of necklaces when I was little, but now I’m looking at beaded knitting, and beadweaving, and beaded crocheting, and… And there are so many possiblities. I’m not very fond of beads added to fabric, but a fabric with beads woven into it sounds lovely. I’ve decided not to make the beaded bonsai tree, but I am considering bead shoes, hats, Christmas tree ornaments, chokers, and pendant bags. I even saw a pattern for a beaded chess set…

Fireworks(Gabrielle)

Saturday we went to a fireworks display that is the finest I have ever seen. Even though it was going to be a late night we took the kids and I am glad we did. We got there maybe two hours before the fireworks started and had a rough time keeping the chillins entertained. Seth told them that the fireworks would start when it got dark so every two minutes Samuel would ask if it was dark yet. We managed to find one of Seth’s coworkers and his family, another coworker and my brother Jonathan. We also managed to find a spot right in front of the speaker that was blasting music so conversation was close to impossible, but watching the Green’s one year old dance was well worth it. When the fireworks finally started I watched the children’s reactions closely. I was sitting on the ground with the three older ones and I got a front row seat to the cutest reactions around. Arianna was bouncing, squealing and laughing all at once. Isaac, who doesn’t like the dark, was yelling, “I can see! I can see!”. But it was Samuel’s reaction that made me smile. He was sitting as still as I have ever seen him with his eyes big and round. He was just sitting drinking in the lights and noise. I was moved by the wonder I saw in his eyes. It made me smile quietly and want to ask him what he was thinking right then. The other children were excited, but Samuel was entranced. When I reached over and touched his arm to make sure he wasn’t scared he jumped and looked at me a little confused as he came out of his reverie. I asked him if he liked it and he smiled a smile that stretched all the way around his head. We got home very late that night and I still haven’t caught up on my sleep, but sometimes you need to do something insane so you can see that stillness and those smiles. The children won’t remember being tired on Sunday, but they will remember the wonder of the fireworks. And that’s a trade off I’d make any day.

The Milk Jugs Memorial (Gabrielle)

Our milk jugs of the week are dented. Every time I get one out to pour some milk I laugh because they are both in sorry shape. I managed to bang one into something resembling its normal shape, but until we finished the other one I laughed every time I saw it. But I was also encouraged every time I saw it because I know how they got dented. One was dropped by Arianna when she tripped as she was carrying it inside. The other was dropped repeatedly by Samuel as he carried it inside. The milk jugs were dented because the children are being taught how to work hard. Samuel dropped his because it was heavy for him. But he made it all the way inside and into the kitchen. Arianna dropped hers because she tripped going up the stairs. But she picked it up again and carried it the rest of the way. I am a little sad that we finished one of the gallons of milk and the other will soon be a memory. They were reminders of the good things the children have learned so far and they gave me encouragement that even when I get frustrated with the children God is working in them and building them up into Godly disciples. They made me very proud of the children every time I saw them. My goodness, that is quite a lot to get out of two gallons of milk.

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