A Road Less Travelled

Last night I was at a book study group looking at C. S. Lewis’s book Mere Christianity. Somehow we got talking about how people don’t like to say anyone is wrong. It is a social faux pas now. It is acceptable to assert that your opinion works for some people and not others, but to come out and say “I am right, you are wrong” is not done. This mentality has penetrated so far into the church that we don’t really notice we do it anymore. Perhaps I’ll write more about this some other time, but for now I want to talk about a facet of this. This is the facet where you hide the fact that you disagree with someone. If there is someone you don’t agree with either you avoid the person or you avoid the subject. We have this idea that if we disagree we can’t be friends. If we are not totally like-minded we can only be acquaintances. We have this idea that our disagreements of necessity drive us apart. I think that’s poppycock.

Raquel has very strong convictions concerning music. I don’t. She has asked me to turn off music I didn’t even notice. We disagree about music. And we know we disagree. And that’s okay. I respect and try to support Raquel’s conviction because it is hers. I don’t agree, but I don’t have to. She hasn’t tried to convert me and she hasn’t even mentioned how some of my music is contrary to what she believes is good, but she doesn’t have to. We are friends. The fact that we disagree actually strengthens our friendship because we see our differences and we love each other anyway. I don’t have to change her thinking and she doesn’t have to change mine. We can disagree in peace.

Too often we in the church tiptoe around the fact that we have different beliefs. I look around on Sunday and I could list a whole string of beliefs I don’t agree with. But they are my family and it doesn’t matter if we are in complete agreement. Are they in glaring sin? Then confront them in their sin. Is it a matter of personal beliefs? Then live with them in love. The world looks at us and sees us split with divisions over non-essentials. They say “Why would I want to join you guys? You fight as much as we do.” We need to show them that we are a family, that we are unified. And the best way to do that is to disagree in love. And they need to see us disagreeing in love. I watch Seth and James argue all the time. Sometimes it can get somewhat heated. One says A and the other says “You just think that ’cause you’re dumb” and they go back and forth And at the end of the night they still disagree and they are still friends. Seth supports James in his decisions and James supports Seth. The world needs to see this. And we need to show them. And you know it’s true because I said it and I am never wrong.