A Road Less Travelled

I just wrote a post about long term goals, so it seems that I shouldn’t have a post about short term impatience coming right after it. But I do.

I understand that fairy tale endings aren’t realistic. Maybe I don’t completely understand it at this point in my life, but I do live in a house with five children. I’ve fed them, dressed them, and cleaned up after them. I know there’s a certain amount of work involved in being a wife and mother.

But I also live in a house with two very married people. I’ve seen the stressful days, but I’ve also seen the look that James gives Theresa. I’ve seen the same look on Seth’s face when he looks at Crystal. Seth and James are two very different people, but each of them has exactly the same look that is only for his wife. It’s a look that makes the big romantic scenes in movies look fake. I noticed this while watching Armaggedon. Liv Tyler, soft music (no children screaming in the background…), romantic dialogue–and I’m just sitting there thinking, “They’re supposed to look like they’re in love? Come on, it just looks fake.”

So I’m waiting. I know I have to so many things to do with my time, things I won’t have time for after I’m married. But there’s a part of me that’s ‘being patient and getting tired of it’. Elsie is learning to read, and I’m excited about it, but part of my mind wants to know how long until I have a little girl learning to read. How long until I’m in charge of dinner for my husband and children.

I don’t have a neat little ending for this post. I know the right answers. Part of it was in my post on long term benefits. Part of was in Gabrielle’s post On Careers. Part of it is waiting on God’s timing and being content where I am. I know what I’m waiting for, and I know it’s worth it. But sometimes it’s still just hard.