Yes, Indeed I Am This Dense(Gabrielle)

I have been noticing a strange phenomenon cropping up in my manner of speaking. Lately I have found myself saying things like- “The other day we did such and such and I was worn out by the time it was done, but for reasons X, Y and Z it was worth it.” Or something like “We went here and we did that and I have yet to recover, but it was worth it.” I noticed this trend and I wondered at it. Why am I going out of my way to make sure I know and the person I am talking to knows that what I am doing is worth it? Why is that so important? As I have pondered this happening I think I have reached a conclusion. This life is hard and I am finally noticing.

That’s right, folks, I am just now noticing how difficult is this life I have chosen. It has finally penetrated deep into the back of my head that life is hard and my life especially. Yes, I know, I am dense. I have been doing this for a whole year; you would think I would have figured out that it is hard by now. But no, I am just now beginning to understand exactly what I have gotten myself into. It makes me think of a quote I found in a book -

“No job on earth takes more physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual strength than being a good wife and mother. If a woman is looking for the easy life she might try teaching tennis, cutting diamonds, or joining a roller derby team. There is nothing easy about good mothering. It can be back-breaking, heart wrenching, and anxiety producing. And that’s just the morning.”
 
I know I’m not a wife or mother, but I am a nanny, mother’s helper and apprentice homemaker. And those jobs are hard. But then I think about the payoff. I get to learn how to be a mother on children who are not my own and with oversight from parents who have a better idea of what they are doing than I. I get to live with these children and watch their lives and see the smiles, the tears, and the wonder in their faces. Often I feel tired and worn out. I think of how easy my life was before I came to live here. But then I think of the rewards I receive for this choice. And suddenly it is all worth it.

June 29th 2005 Posted to Gabrielle, Quotes, Rants & Rambles, Thoughts on Being Womanly

Comments

  1. Adiel
    June 29th, 2005 | 5:45 pm

    “It can be back-breaking, heart wrenching, and anxiety producing. And that’s just the morning.”

    AMEN!

    The hard part comes when it’s hard to see that it really is worth it. Then it is just a matter of trusting God that His plan in creating toddlers really does make sense.

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