A Road Less Travelled

Last Sunday I took the kids to the park. On the way back from this mission of mercy I bumped into the neighbor’s van as I pulled up to the curb outside our house. I took the driver’s side headlight clear off and put a little dent into the side. The headlight is actually all in one piece. The neighbors, who were being far too sweet about the whole thing, decided to call the police and make a full report so that when they filed an insurance claim they could say everything was done properly. The police officer was also very nice about the whole thing, but according to Illinois law he had to give me a ticket for pulling to the curb incorrectly. Fine, I said, fine. I’ll just pay it and everything will be done with. I got everything ready to mail the government a check and pay my debt and all that when I noticed the small writing under the address of where to send the check. “Cannot pay earlier than 5 business days.” I am first going to make an assumption that they are telling me that I cannot pay earlier than 5 business after the accident, but I think they really mean that I may not pay or perhaps that I should not pay. So, if this assumption is correct I am not allowed to pay the U.S. government the money they say I owe them until they say I am allowed to. I could go into the courthouse and say, “I give you money” and they will say, “I am sorry we don’t want it yet!” So now I have to wait for 5 business days. 5 business days from when. Whose business days? Some businesses are closed on Mondays. Do those count as business days or do I only count the days every business is open? Should I ask them or do I have to wait for 5 business days? Boy, I knew politics were confusing, but I had no idea it was this bad.