A Road Less Travelled

I don’t feel like writing a blog post. To write a blog post reminds me that I haven’t written a blog post since Tuesday, and that was just a quick post saying “Hi, I haven’t posted in a long time.” So here’s the deal. James and Theresa and the children are in San Antonio at the Christian Film Festival. I am staying with the Ben-Ezras. This happened for a combination of reasons, starting with the fact that life just seemed really crazy. I still can’t explain why it seemed more ‘normal’ to stay in a house where everyone’s short on sleep because the baby has whooping cough than to go on a trip with my family, but even after a morning where I didn’t get dressed until a couple hours ago because I was holding a fussy baby while trying to feed children and dress Noah and such, this just seems like the right place to be. I did not want to go to San Antonio. I wanted to move into Peoria and just be there for a while before running off somewhere else. When I finally detected that I had a bad attitude about it, I knew I desperately needed to shift my focus somehow. So I spent a while trying to figure out some way to help out the Ben-Ezras. It was a futile, frustrating exercise as far as helping went because, well, I was going to be gone so there wasn’t much I could do. But it did straighten out my attitude. I was no longer trying to be the center of the universe, even in my own subtle way. Suddenly plans were laid and confirmed for me to stay with the Ben-Ezras and help out while James and Theresa were in Texas. Perhaps it wasn’t sudden, but in retrospect–it’s quicker to type that way. Life is pretty strange around here, but life is always strange in one way or another. This is where I’m supposed to be right now. On top of that I’m almost sure that Noah said, “Aunt Raquel” this morning. To be sure, it sounded more like, “Arrrr-ke” but I know what he meant.