A Road Less Travelled

There are moments when I look around and realize that it is a moment I want to remember. Yesterday I made pizza for dinner and something came up so Seth couldn’t go work on the house so we actually had a leisurly dinner together. At one point I looked around the table and just beamed at everything I saw. I don’t know if I actually beamed, but I felt like I was so it counts as an actual beam. The three older children were talking about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and pizza, Seth and Crystal were eating and smiling, Noah was eating the spinach out of his salad and showing off his muscles like Popye and Justice was sitting in his chair with tomato sauce on his face and chuckling at the world. It was a good moment.

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I’m not sure where to start. The quick version would be to say that no, Theresa hasn’t gone into labor yet and the Ben-Ezra’s new house is coming along slowly.

 Somehow this doesn’t quite capture the feel of last week. Last week, I intently multi-tasked over dinner, determined not to let the vegetables overcook this time. I plodded down to the Ben-Ezra’s new house with Gabrielle, wondering if I should have worn a thicker coat. I tapped laminate flooring into place, trying not to look as dumb as I felt, while the conversation wandered aimlessly over familiar ground. Gabrielle and I once again noted the distinction in our painting styles as she slopped paint across the wall and I edged slowly along the trim. And eventually we walked back, this time on the creepy side of the street, because Seth was walking with us so it was okay. We stood in front of my house, and I didn’t want to think about getting up in seven or eight hours to do it all again (unless, of course, Theresa went into labor first). I just wanted to stand under the stars and let life feel like it was back to where it should be.

 Last week was long and hard and tiring, and I can’t explain why it all felt so right. I was on the edge of being too tired to actually be useful. I was on the edge of frustration that all I can be is an extra pair of hands, because I have no particular skills at anything that needs to be done. But last week was an answer to a prayer that went something like this, “Lord, I’m not asking for life to be easy, but this time could You give me something to handle that I’m actually good at?”

  I’m still pondering exactly how that fits together with the week that I got. All I know is that something about last week made it the easiest kind of hard for me to deal with. It’s an odd kind of blessing to be grateful for, but I am. I’m even tempted to feel bad that I got the ‘easy’ week when nearly everyone around  me is some combination of hurting, tired, and stressed. Instead, I will just glad for the week I got, and hope God grants me the grace to handle this week as well, no matter what it brings.

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This post was supposed to be a funny one, but I just didn’t have time or energy to be funny. Cause, see, this post was about why I’m so tired and have no energy. I feel like I’ve started living a double life. During the day I’m Titi Gaby and I do all my Titi Gaby work and then after dinner I help get the kids to bed and then I change into a dusty, now paint-smeared
dress and walk down to the new house where Seth has already been for a while.

So far I’ve painted, ripped up flooring (which I will gladly admit was fun), knocked plaster off the wall and down my dress and washed weeks-dirty dishes with tepid water. This week will most likely be more of the same. I am beginning to fear I won’t have the oomf to get through this week without crashing something terrible. I am beginning to fear that our family will fall apart while we work to get into a house where we can function as a family better.
 

I keep thinking about something I heard in a sermon once. I don’t remember exactly how it was phrased, but it went something like- “And the God who’s showed up every day so far isn’t going to ditch me right when I need Him the most.” This feels like a pretty weak sort of suffering, but I know that I am struggling. So I’ll struggle through this week and I’ll cling to the fact that my Father has showed up every day so far. He sat next to me while I watched my mom die and He came and spent the night when we had whooping cough. He ain’t just going to dump me right when I’m not sure I’m going to make it through this next week without a lot of tears. So when I’m down and tired I’ll try and put a song in my mouth because my Dad’s down at the house with us and I think He likes the color of paint Crystal picked.
 

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Friday was one of those odd days. And when I say odd I mean strange and fun. I knew it was going to be busy, but I wasn’t exactly sure I was prepared for what I got.

 The first thing you need to know about Friday is that the Lansberry’s and we did not coordinate our plans at all. There were no planning sessions or plots. We were not stalking them. It just kinda worked out the way it did.

So, to start with Crystal and I gathered up all the children and trucked them out to the Trinity Lutheran Garage Sale. It was a little tricky to be a thorough as I would have like with either Noah’s hand clutched in mine or Justice in the stroller and all the other kids in tow. I did manage to find a set of four brown soup mugs. You know, the kind that look like little pots. I found some books, though not as many as I would have liked, a travel mug in really good condition and a dress I think will fit nicely. The real find, though, was an electric organ Arianna found and bought for ten dollars. It came with a bench and some music, too. The kids each bought some toys and Noah bought a little bike with training wheels.

 After the yard sale we stopped at a grocery store for some things we would need that night and then we stopped at a ‘restaurant’ (McDonald’s) for some ‘food’. From there we proceeded to Joann Fabrics for the big sale and met the Lansberrys as they were leaving. We met another family in the store and yet another family on the way out. I found some really cool orange fabric to make more orange pants and some black fabric to make a tunic that won’t clash with the orange pants. I like to be considerate to the people around me. I bought some other fabric that was suitably nifty, but I can’t quite remember it right now.

I made my purchases far before Crystal was ready to leave so I took Justice, Samuel and Arianna out to the van so Crystal could have some measure of peace. Justice managed to wander around the front of the van and have a good old time which I was really glad for because his day had consisted of a lot of sitting so far. Crsytal came out and we went to Leaves and Beans the week’s coffee supply (mmmm, coffee) and then we headed home. We put the littles down for naps and then Crystal and I flew around the house tidying up. We made food for many people and then headed over to the Lansberry house for Game Night. I had a lot of fun and even injured my hand during a game of Jungle Speed. It still kind of hurts. I went home tired, but it had been a good day. A strange, odd day, but a good one.

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I have recently created two more squidoo lenses, one on goth knitting and one on marshamallow recipes. Coming soon–goth marshmallow recipes! Then again, maybe not…

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In case you were wondering, the right tool for removing a marker cap from inside an ever so slightly larger marker cap is a corkscrew. A shrimp fork doesn’t quite work and an orange peeler is completly useless, but once you find the proper angle a corkscrew just pops it right out. So remember, for all your stuck marker cap needs…

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I keep talking about this resume I should write someday. You know, something that lists my skills and positions in life. Aunt, nanny, storyteller, playground equipment, pro-bono toy surgeon, cook, baker, goof-ball and so on. Well, I found another skill just lying around. Or perhaps I should say I found a constructive use for a habit. I am a confirmed label-picker. Any label I see is a label that wants to come off. I’m not compulsive. I am actually a kind and helpful person in assisting the label in leaving its current place. This, shall we say, tendency of mine has led to some, um, friction, if you will, between my family and I in the past, but yesterday we found a constructive use for it. I went over to our house-to-be and used my powers of label picking to rip up flooring. It was very satisfying. Crystal had been working on it, but her skills at label picking are not as practiced as mine. So I think I will add “Label-Picker” to my ever expanding resume.

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  Wednesday night dinner was not just any dinner at Lansberry’s. Wednesday night was an Upside-Down, Inside-Out and Backwards party. It was Raquel’s idea. The dining room was decorated with streamers around the floor, a bunch of balloons hanging down from the ceiling and all of the pictures were turned upside-down or sideways. There were “This Side Up” signs hanging around upside-down. We ate inside-out tacos (taco salad) and for dessert we had pineapple upside-down cake. All the Lansberry children were wearing their clothes inside-out and backwards. It was a lot of fun.

After dinner Raquel had some music to inflict on me. I mean, she had some music she wanted me to listen to. Harry Belafonte. I actually liked it. I ended up dancing in the kitchen with Moriah and Elsie. It was fun to be able to pass on the Kitchen Dancing tradition to another generation. When I was too tired to dance anymore I went and sat down to talk with Kathey. It was about this time that Samuel B. came downstairs with a head wound and James was on the phone with his father trying to figure out what the water dripping into the upstairs bathroom meant. The Ben-Ezra’s figured that it was about time for us to take our chaos and our head wounds home with us. Seth walked Kathey home and the rest of moseyed on home.  

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 Lately we’ve been drinking ‘good coffee’ aka ‘the coffee of coffee snobs’ from Leaves and Beans. Then James mentioned in passing that we still have regular grocery store gourmet coffee left, and I thought, “Hey, I’m not a coffee snob, so it won’t really matter to me. I’ll just finish that off.”

 So this morning a made a cup of regular old coffee, and you know what? It really wasn’t that good.

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Wearing my newly made pathcwork dress for the first time and finding out it fit and was comfortable. A slow mosey around the neighborhood this morning. The satchel I found at Target that was just what I wanted and 75% off. Listening to Isaac begin to read. Laughing around the dinner table.

That’s why I say thanks everyday. 

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