A Road Less Travelled

It was some day last week that Crystal and I were flopped on her bed trying to encourage and convince each other to start the day. We had each gotten up and gotten dressed and eaten breakfast and now we were exhausted. I just couldn’t find the energy or desire to face the day. Crystal and I ended up encouraging each by reminding each other of the new house, the house that we are waiting for. It felt slightly surreal and when I finally placed why it made me chuckle. It was like we were talking about Heaven. And it helped me understand a little bit better how to think about Heaven.

I’ve made this connection before, the link between our new house and Heaven. We don’t fit into this house and it works well enough, but it isn’t what we want. We are packed in so tight it is impossible to go anywhere (and I mean that literally) in the house and not be able to hear what most of the other people are doing. We are constantly on top of each other so it is very easy to get frustrated and angry. It’s hard to be gracious because we are nearly constantly rubbing each other the wrong way. Even good things, good events, are marred by our crampedness. We have a lovely, elaborate dinner that everybody enjoys together and then we trip over each other when we clear the table. It’s difficult to function because nothing works quite how we want it to. We get frustrated because the roof is leaking into my room and onto the stairs and because things keep breaking and just simply because we’re still here. Life here is hard for us. And the hope we cling to is that soon we will be able to leave this place and go live someplace better.

Life here in this fallen world is hard. We trip over our sins and we trip over each other. We accidentally hurt everyone around us and it is impossible to get away from the evil of sin. If we run away to a desert island we take ourselves with us. Nothing works quite right and even happy times are marred by sadness. Someone isn’t there or soon someone will have to leave. The meal didn’t come out right or the present wasn’t how you wanted it to be. A plane flies through your sunset while you sit there all alonely. Everything hurts somehow and nothing ever fills that longing we carry. We just want to nosh and there’s nothing that tastes right.

So we lie on a bed and we talk about Heaven. Crystal said she thought it might be more encouraging if she could see how it would be. But it’s so far beyond our experiences that imagining it is nearly impossible. When I remind myself of Heaven I think of it the same way I sometimes think of God. I start listing everything it is not. There’s that hymn ‘Immortal, Invisible, God Only Wise’. We sing about what God is not because we can’t grasp what He is. It’s too big for us. And since Heaven is where we will be with God with no sin between us it is as difficult to grasp as its Creator.

So what isn’t it? For one, Heaven is the place of no goodbyes. The gathering of friends will end and no one has to say goodbye. The conversation starts and pauses here or there, but never has to end. Raquel and I have had conversation stretch over months. Imagine a conversation stretching over years, decades, eternity. It won’t have to end because no one says goodbye. No one leaves. No one fades. No one dies.

Heaven fills that longing inside us that nothing here can. There’s a Yiddish word that works so well here. The word is nosh. Sometimes there’s that one thing that you are hungry for. You go to the refrigerator and it’s right there and you take three bites and, yep, that is just what you were hungry for. But what happens when it’s not in the refrigerator? What then? We have this longing to nosh on something we have never had before and we come close on this earth, but nothing here fully fills that desire. We just want to nosh and the refrigerator is empty. Heaven is full of what fills that longing because it is full of God.

Life has been very difficult around here lately. Getting up and going has been challenging. Well, more challenging than normal. I’ve been telling myself to keep going and to hold on because soon, soon we will move into the new house and the current difficulties that are being so difficult will be gone. Now I know that sometime in the future the roof on the new house could start leaking and maybe the sink will break and Seth, Crystal, the children and I will still all be sinners. But in Heaven we won’t be. In Heaven we will get there and it will be exactly what we were looking for. And that’s why we keep going and that’s the reason we hold on because soon, soon we will be there.