Raquel and I were talking recently about when we first met. Well, actually, when we met for the second time, but neither of us remember the first time (we were nine at James and Theresa’s wedding) so the time we were talking about really counts as the first time though it technically isn’t. Raquel thought it would be fun to write up our meeting from our very different perspectives to compare and contrast. What fun!
The year was 2004 and I had just taken my first trip on a plane. Noah had just been born and I was flying in to spend two weeks here helping Crystal with the older kids. Halfway through my visit the Lansberrys were going to throw a feast for Noah’s baptism and my dad was coming for the feast as a surprise to Seth and Crystal. It was to be a very eventful two weeks.
I had been in Peoria for a couple of days when the Lansberrys got back from the trip they were on and were coming over for dinner to say hi and talk about the feast. I was feeling kinda nervous because I wasn’t accustomed to big meals like that as common place affairs. It’s kinda funny now when sixteen people isn’t a big crowd, but at that time it was slightly daunting. So I helped Crystal prepare for the meal and then the Lansberrys were coming in the front door. It was “Hi”s and “Hello”s all around and then I noticed this person coming in the door I had not met before. I knew this was Raquel because Crystal had mentioned to me that she existed and that maybe we could be friends and go to London together. I scoffed at this idea on many levels (the chief of which was the London idea) and now this person was walking into the house.
My first impression was that she looked very pull-together. She wasn’t just wearing clothes. She was wearing an outfit. It all went together. Now, you need to remember that this was before I had actually got a bead on what I thought of myself and how my clothing reflected that. So I usually just kinda walked round wearing whatever came to hand and didn’t think anything of it. And here was this person looking entirely too kempt.
The next thing I noticed was that Crystal had seated us next to each other. There is something about Crystal that makes her want to fix every problem she sees. So, here was I without a friend to my name and here was Raquel in the same boat. So she figured we would be perfect for each other if she could just get us to talk. It’s like match-making, but perfectly platonic.
So, here I am sitting next this very kempt looking person Crystal is trying to make me friends with. And then I notice she’s using her knife and fork in such a way that would make any etiquette book author weep in gratitude. These authors go through their lives never sure if what they say makes any difference and here comes a shining example of the proper way to eat roast and mashed potatos. And she was sitting next to me. Now, let me be clear, I approve of manners and etiquette. I’m just not nearly as good at it as Raquel is. So I’m sitting next to her feeling unkempt and uncouth. And this is the girl Crystal wants me to be friends with? Not likely.
Then Samuel B, my dear, dear Samuel B, walks up with his cup. Somehow me managed to get mashed potatos all over his cup and in his cup. I was really confused at first because it looked like dried toothpaste and I didn’t remember any toothpaste being at this meal. And it was very difficult to understand what he was saying because it was very loud and he still had difficulties with consonants. So I’m holding this mug that is covered with mashed potatos and I’m laughing because I have no idea what to do with it or why I am now holding it so I start to chuckle. Raquel has been watching the whole thing and she starts to laugh. And somehow the distance between us becomes slightly less and all because of a small boy and a mug of mashed potatos.
Of course, we weren’t fast friends yet. We spent most of the next weekend around each other and then Feast Day we were working together. I still thought she was far too kempt and aloof. We were at the Lansberry house ostensibly for some reason, though really we were there because Dad had just flown in and we were going to have lunch together at the Lanberry’s. Half the table was talking about something and Dad and James were talking about something else. Raquel opened her mouth to make a comment and Dad shushed James for just a moment because he had never heard her speak before. Raquel looked very embarrassed. At some point after the meal Raquel kind of wandered off and when she came back she had rebraided her hair. I was fairly sure at this point that Crystal had been completely mistaken and this person and I would never be friends. I mean, she rebraids her hair.
It was the Sunday before I left to go home and I decided I should probably talk to Raquel. At that point I had talked to Seth and Crystal about my moving here and I was mulling that possibility over. I’m not sure if that affected in any way my descision to go talk to Raquel, but, be that as it may, I went and said Hi. We started talking about books and I was shocked to learn that she read Star Trek. I mean, Star Trek. She is entirely too kempt, entirely too proper, she rebraids her hair and only talks when she has some meaningful comment to make and she likes reading Star Trek. It just didn’t add up and it made me think that maybe there was more to her then what I had seen.
That was our beginning. From my perspective, anyway. She was too good to be my friend and she knew it too. And now here we are. It’s almost three years later and I refuse to imagine my life without Raquel as my friend. We’ve talked about this first, or second, meeting and I’ve been able to see it from her perspective. It’s fascinating to see the difference between what was happening and what I could see. It makes me curious about other first meetings as well. What were they thinking when they said that? Did they mean it like that or were they just as nervous as I was? Maybe there’s more that goes on behind people’s eyes than I can see. Truly fascninating.
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