A Road Less Travelled

Yesterday I was driving to the easiest babysitting job ever and as I drove I was switching back and forth between our radio presets trying to find something I felt like listening to. I settled on a station and enjoyed the song and then decided to stick around for the next song. It was a woman with a powerful voice accompanied by a piano. The woman was singing to someone who had died, I was guessing her mother. Today I looked up the lyrics. There are two parts that particularly resonated with me.

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you’ve done
Forgive all your mistakes
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won’t be there

and

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

As I listened to the song I started crying because it expressed so well what I feel sometimes. It was a lovely song. After the song I listened carefully to the hear the artist and title of the song. It was ‘Hurt’ by Christina Aguilera. I was not expecting this at all. I didn’t think this station played Christina Aguilera and I didn’t think I could ever like a song by her.

I am something of a music snob. This doesn’t mean that there are types of music that I think are best, but that there are types of music that I am sure can have no good purpose. Raquel will probably laugh at me for that because we have had numerous discussions about music and I was firmly on the side of “God made everything and called it good,” but it seems that I too bear my share of hypocrisy.

There is really only one type of music that I would declare has no lasting value. Boy bands, girl bands, and solo acts of either gender whose only purpose seems to be to prance about on stage and make the opposite gender lustful. Such as Christina Aguilera. They have very little to no talent and they are what most young children in America want to be. I could imagine no good coming out of this type of music. I would even say there could be some good in country music before I would find any good in boy/girl bands. But here is this song that I found to be very moving and very powerful and it was sung by a woman whose music I have always considered to be completely without merit.

I seems that I need to repent of my snobbery. If I declare that we are all made in the image of the Creator and that we create reflects back to Him somehow then I need to act like I believe that. With discernment, to be sure. But without those prejudices I cling to that are nothing more than snobbery.

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This post is a trifle late in coming. We’ve been so busy being well that I haven’t had time to sit down and write about it. But anyway, Hooray for us! It has been a couple days since I’ve cleaned up anybody’s vomit! That seems to a good reason to celebrate. Yesterday Crystal made pizza and we had a small “We’re Better” party. I could not attend because I’ve been having some small gastro-intestinal… difficulties, shall we say. I am better. I’m just not quite alright. Yet.

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Crystal has recently become interested in homeopathic medicines and how they might help us. For those of you who don’t know homeopathy is built on the theory that a little bit of a poison could actually be good for us. So homeopathic medicines are basically poisons that are extremely diluted. What with everybody being sick Crystal decided to try it out. Yesterday was my turn to be ill. I felt terrible for the middle half of the day. So Crystal told me I should try the homeopathic medicine. I took ipecac and arsenic. And I felt much better.

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 I’ve decided it’s time to do something. I haven’t figured out what yet, but coming up out where I was Sunday morning I just feel like I have to start doing something. Once I get moving I can try to fine tune my efforts into something more useful.

 The best I’ve got so far is setting up a lunch and/or coffee outing with the girls at church. While this is something I’ve been wanting to do so we get to know each other better, and should offer me ample opportunity to fall on my face, it feels like a rather pathetic attempt. However, since the only alternative I’ve come up with is staying home and making doughnuts, I think I’m going to push for the lunch/coffee option. I’ll let you know when I come up with better plans for falling on my face in the future.

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Yep, it’s still a plague. Noah is mostly better, but now Samuel has it. He hasn’t thrown up since Sunday, but yesterday he was running a temperature of 103. Crystal and Seth managed to get it down and it’s stayed down ever since. Justice is still having trouble keeping anything in his stomach. It’s been fun around here. I would go into more detail, but I am sure, very sure, none of you want to know. I’ll try to keep you updated as this thing runs its course.

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 It’s frustrating to stay home from church when I feel well enough to make it there. Granted, even a touch of the stomach flu is not something I want to take out of the house, or risk sharing with other people. Still, it’s doubly frustrating coming on the heels of a multiple week trip away from home.

 I wanted to be at Providence this morning. I was looking forward to being there. I was running through the lists of who I would say hello to, wondering whether Gabrielle and I would quickly fall into the old rut of talking to each other even though we had the best intentions of being social with everyone else, and once again weighing the relative benefits of going through the food line early and seeing who decided to sit with me against going through the food line later and having to choose who to sit with. With all this in mind I sent up a quick prayer that God would put me with whoever needed me most, and not let me complain if they weren’t the ‘fun’ people I wanted to hang out with.

 I didn’t have anything grandiose in mind. Maybe someone I would normally overlook that I should be making friends with. Maybe listening about someone’s really miserable week, even though I probably wouldn’t have any great words of wisdom.

 Instead I’m sitting alone in an empty house. 

 The obvious conclusion that no one needs me is hovering right in front of me, but I refuse to reach out and take it. I’ve been down that road, and I know that once I start I still don’t have sufficient answer to talk myself back out of it. Most of the time I honestly can’t figure out what good I’m doing here or why anyone needs me.

 But if God took a country girl who loves mountains, and made it so she thinks ‘home’ when she sees the city lights over an expase of cornfield, I have think there’s a reason for her to be there. I just wish He’d clue me in on what it is. 

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What started as “Noah has a mild stomach bug” on Tuesday has now turned into a full assault on our household’s health. Arianna and Justice have joined the ranks of the unwell and we are watching Samuel and Isaac like ticking timebombs. Like they are ticking timebombs, that is. I don’t know how a ticking timebomb watches something so I wouldn’t want to presume to attempt an impersonation.

Because of the illness we have canceled our monthly Game Night and have had to postpone Arianna’s birthday party that was supposed to be on Saturday. Noah is in his third day of sickness so I have no idea how long this will last. I am prepared for a siege. Oh, and the Lansberrys are home. Yay!

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 We have safely returned to the shining beacon of light which is Peoria. We had one of our usual crazy trips which included tours of some of the finest rest areas in the West, and some running jokes that may not seem nearly as funny in the light of day. I’ll see about filling in some more of the details when I feel sufficiently reconnected with life outside a moving vehicle or hotel room. (What do they call this big blue thing? Sky, you say?)

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Once again I find myself compelled to write one big Happy Birthday post. I have already missed two March birthdays and if I try to do individual posts for the remaining birthdays I will miss those as well. Some of these birthdays haven’t happened yet, but I refuse to take responsibility for that. If it bothers you to read a ‘happy birthday’ before your birthday you are welcome to check back on your day and read your bit. That would be fine with me.

March 9th- Happy Birthday, Mom! I know you aren’t here for us to light candles for and I know you probably have better things to do than remember when you were born, but you’ve been one of the most important people in my life and it would be wrong to let this day go by without notice. I love you very much, Mom. Thanks for being born.

March 15th- Happy Birthday, Jonathan! I know I was at your party and was able to say it in person, but I still like saying it on the Internet where everyone can read it. I love telling people about the kitchen window we broke together with the refrigerator and I was just remembering that you would play with me, though now that I think about it you must have been way too old and cool to play with your little sister. Thanks for being my big brother. Happy Birthday!

March 22nd- Happy Birthday, Adiel! I finally got around to ordering your present and I hope it’s just what you wanted. I’ve loved watching you find your artistic gifts and seeing what you do with them. I’m glad that the title “baby sister” passes back and forth between us. I pray that this year is better than you expect. Happy Birthday!

March 24th- Happy Birthday, Arianna! It seems like all of a sudden you sprouted into more than a little girl, but not yet a young woman. I’ve enjoyed watching you grow so far and can’t wait to see what God has planned for you in the years to come. Happy Birthday, love!

March 28th- Happy Birthday, Grandma! I enjoyed my visit with you very much last time I was back in Erie. Thanks for not being too mad about the dumb things we used to do in your house. Personally, I think the Barbie doll on the ceiling fan was the worst, but I could be wrong. Thank you for still being very interested in what I’m doing and what I’m making. Happy Birthday!

There! All done for now. And like I said to the January folk could you people maybe consider spreading your birthdays out a bit? Seriously, it would be much easier for me.

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 Today Crystal, children and I went to Morton to pick up our order from a whole foods co-op. We now have ridiculous amounts of unpronounceable grains (Really, who decided how to pronounce quinoa?), pronounceable grains (though amaranth is still fun to say), cane sugar and peanut butter. In a couple of weeks we will buy half a cow and have ridiculous amounts of meat around the house. Crystal has been doing some of her shopping at the local International Food Market and coming home with bags of grain we don’t know how to pronounce or cook. Food around here has been so much fun lately.

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