A Road Less Travelled

This time last year my life was, how shall I say it? It felt like a mess. I felt like I kept losing bits of my life that I would never get back. This time last year was also right after our family reunion back in Erie. This reunion is set in my memory not only because it was a lovely time with family I haven’t seen in a while, but because it marks a turning point. When we left for Erie I felt full with things I never knew I could lose. When we got back I felt empty.

This time last year the S. Ben-Ezras, the Lansberrys, and another family prayerfully and painfully made the decision to leave the church we were members of and to find another church. The church we left was the second church I’ve been a member of in my entire life. I’d never left a church before and I had no idea what to think, what to feel. The leaving didn’t go well and I felt sad, lost and confused. We made the decision Sunday night and we left for Erie on Wednesday. When we got back we had no church family anymore.

This time last year the S. Ben-Ezra household was in the process of moving its headquarters. We were going to move into the neighborhood we’d looked at for the past two years or so. We were going to be down the street from the Lansberrys in a house that would fit us better. I’d only moved twice in my life; once when I was six months old and then I moved to Illinois when I was eighteen. we had started packing before we left for Erie, but when we got back was when we made a concerted effort to remove all traces of our family’s culture and personality from the house. When we left I had a room and a home. When we got back I just had a place I slept and worked and packed. We didn’t really have a home until six months later.

Before we left for Erie I was full. I had a family, a church family and a home. When we got back I still had a family, but the other two were gone. And it felt like I would never get them back.

It’s a year later now. And I am full again. We have a house that is a gift. Even when the windows won’t open or are missing screens and the fence is crooked this house suits us. It has a big front porch, plenty of rooms so that we don’t all have to be in same place all the time and, most importantly to me, my bedroom has a door. It is just down the street from the Lansberrys and we live in an actual neighborhood. The house feels like home and I pray that I will never take that for granted again.

It’s a year later and we have a church family again. A motley group of people who are all struggling with our sin and have decided to love each other no matter what. It is a gift. It’s certainly not our fault. When Seth and Crystal had to go back to Erie to be with her father the church was there for us. Just this past week I had a chance to return the favor and it was such a joy. This church is a gift and I pray that I will never take it for granted again.

This time last year I went out full and came back empty. It’s a year later and God has more than returned everything he took away.