Life Together (Gabrielle)
Yesterday I finished reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book Life Together which is a discussion on Christian community. It is a fine book even though some of his thoughts are obviously addressed to people without small children. He asks basic important questions such as why should we be in community, what holds a community together, and what should it be about. He states directly that everyone in your community, or family fellowship as his translators call it, will be a sinner and that the worst one of the lot will be you. The finest chapter though, in my opinion, was the chapter on ministry.
Pastor Bonhoeffer says at the very beginning of the chapter that he is not writing about full-time, paid ministry, but that he is writing about Christians serving and living with each in love and harmony. I appreciated how simple some of his thoughts were. He said first and foremost “Don’t say everything that comes into your head. Most of it will probably be either hurtful or unhelpful.”
Often we combat our evil thoughts most effectively if we absolutely refuse to allow them to be expressed in words. It is certain that the spirit of self-justification can be overcome only by the Spirit of grace; nevertheless, isolated thoughts of judgment can be curbed and smothered by never allowing them the right to be uttered, except as confession of sin.
The next thought was “When someone comes to you who needs to talk just listen to him. Don’t talk; just listen.” I found this to be a simple, yet profound thought. Sometimes we just need to shut up in love.
The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that He not only gave us His Word but also lends us His ear. So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.
The companion thought is sometimes we need to speak. I was glad Pastor Bonhoeffer said both things because it is very easy to go one way or the other, but it is hard to be wise and discerning to know whether to speak or to shut up.
Where Christians live together the time must inevitably come when in some crisis one person will have to declare God’s Word and will to another. It is unchristian consciously to deprive one another of the one decisive service we can render to him. If we cannot bring ourselves to utter it, we shall have to ask ourselves whether we are not still seeing our brother garbed in his human dignity which we are afraid to touch, and thus forgetting the most important thing, that he, too, no matter how old or highly placed or distinguished he may be, is still a man like us, a sinner in crying need of God’s grace.
And then he says, in no uncertain terms, that we need to do stuff for each other. There is a time to listen, a time to speak and a time to get up and do something for someone else. Take your hands and use them to bless someone and to show love to him. It doesn’t matter how big or, usually, how small the action is. Pick up your hands and do it for your brother and for God.
Nobody is too good for the meanest service. One who worries about the loss of time that such petty outward acts of helpfulness entail is usually taking the importance of his own career too solemnly.
We must allow ourselves to be interrupted by God. God will be constantly crossing our paths and canceling our plans by sending us people with claims and petitions…. Only where hands are not too good for deeds of love and mercy in everyday helpfulness can the mouth joyfully and convincingly proclaim the message of God’s love and mercy.
I’d like to say I was struck by one of these thoughts more than the other, but I think I needed to be reminded of them all. This community thing is hard sometimes, but I do think it is worth it. I just need someone to remind me every few minutes.