An Odd Thought (Gabrielle)
I had an odd thought the other day. I am twenty-two now. That means that I am older than any of my siblings were when they got married. The question “Why?” wandered into my head then, but I chased it out with a fly swatter.
Minds, they will try to make significance out of any little trivia like this. Ask me how I know.
You are wise to chase such thoughts away.
Use a hammer instead of a fly swatter next time the “Why” question pops up as an irritant. I wouldn’t be surprised if Satan is the originator of those questions that people ask themselves that only lead to discontent and doubt in God’s goodness. As Mark Driscoll has mentioned, we should be especially leery of the questions running through our minds that are posed in the third-person given that people don’t normally refer to themselves in the third-person. So, the next time the “Why” question pops up and you go to whack it with a hammer, I’d even suggest that the hammer be a sledge hammer that’s weighted with God’s promises.
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25Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
26Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
27Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
28And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
29And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
30Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
31Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
The fact that you are now twenty-two I would note is more in line with the norm then the path your siblings plowed. There are few today who are married by twenty-two. Had you followed the off to school route you would just now be graduating and starting to think about getting married. That said Lizzy at twenty-one was viewed as old when she meet Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice. I guess it just depends on the time and social outlook.
All of that said I cannot help but look out at church at the number of single young women compared to young men and see a problem. I did the school route and had the chance to meet hundreds of girls thus increasing my odds of finding one. Some people take this odds game to the extreme. I heard an add the other day for a power date thing in Peoria where a bunch of singles get together and you spend two minutes with each person. I do not consider that a very good way to meet the one. You do however need to meet people if you are to meet the person. I do not know what if any plan you have in all of this but figured what the heck I might as well use your blog for my own little soap box speal. Good luck with the hunt and relax by my view you still have plenty of time.
Minor literary correction: Lizzie would not have been considered old in that era (she was 20) by anyone but her mother, who was desperate to see her girls married off as soon as possible, without regard to other factors. Twenty was right in the normal range for courtship and marriage. Sixteen was the earliest “respectable” age, but 18 was still considered on the young side. The idea of getting a bit past prime marrying age didn’t kick in to 25 or so, and otherwise desirable young women were still considered quite marriageable as late as 29.
At any rate, it’s important to keep in mind that, good as Adiel’s and Elizabeth’s early marriages were, they were unusual in that regard. Even though you believe that marrying young is a good thing, it hardly follows that you can ordinarily expect it to happen immediately upon hitting marriageable age (as it did with them) or that if it hasn’t happened by 22, there has been some unusual delay. Twenty-two is still very young — not too young, but plenty young.
pentamom- Did I say that I thought that getting married young was a good thing? Where did I say that?
I think that what I said was more in line with 22 being a good age to START looking in a real way for a mate. The Austin reference was meant to be a joke not a statement that I think young girls should be married and pregnant by 16 or even 22. Ask my 12 year old daughter and she will tell you she is not allowed to date until she is 21. If I missed something in my post please point it out, but again I do not belive that I said girls should be married young.
Michael, I think Pentamom was talking to me. And, to be clear, I don’t think I have an opinion on whether marrying young is a good thing, a bad thing, or just a thing. I think that God’s got it all sorted out and it will be different for each person. For me, though, getting married when one is 18 is normal. I understand that it isn’t for the bulk of America, but that’s my background and experience. So I feel old and slightly past my prime (yes, yes, I know, I’m only 22. I’m saying this is rational; I’m actually saying it isn’t, I think). I truly think that the four years between 18 and 22 have been, for me, some of the most important in my life and what I have learned in this time about Jesus, the world and myself have prepared me for when I do get married better than being married would have. I’m just saying that emotionally I was ready and expecting my life to go another way. And it hasn’t.
Well, just to be clear, yes, I was referring to Gabrielle, and no, I didn’t mean “good thing” in the absolute sense, but rather “potentially good thing” — which most of the world does not agree with.
Ok, I’ve been silent on the subject, but as the elder stateswoman here …46 is still a respectable marriageable age
Seriously, I understand your thoughts and feelings, Gaby. And your recent post shows that your’re thinking is rational and godly, despite your feelings. And think of all the “old maids” you know who married “late” - Brenda Lane (she was 32 or 33, if my old memory serves correct), your mother was 22 or 23, wasn’t she? You said that for you, marraige at 18 is normal. But really, what is “normal” to God? You’ve been asked to journey on the Road Less Travelled - one that even your siblings know nothing about. I’d like to give you words of encouragement, but I’m afraid they’ll just sound like some condescending platitudes. I think Jeremy’s advice was best “Use a hammer instead of a fly swatter next time the “Why” question pops up as an irritant. I wouldn’t be surprised if Satan is the originator of those questions that people ask themselves that only lead to discontent and doubt in God’s goodness”
With love and understanding,
Barb