A Freeform Poem (Raquel)
This is a poem I wrote a while ago; my last post just reminded me of it. It’s a little rough (I can’t seem to get the hang of editing poetry) but I think the idea comes across.
My heart torn almost into two
with just a splinter staying true
Here I am again, where I said I wouldn’t come–
reaching for the dust, stars left behind at home
I want what isn’t mine
a dream I’ll never find
My way or way of mine–
what kind of choice is that?
‘Cause one of them’s not real
and the other doesn’t care
So why am I still standing here?
alone and cold and far away from home?
And the splinter’s crying out
Oh Father bring me home
I know I’m not the whole
my whole heart isn’t Yours
but it’s all I have to give
don’t leave me here to die
I can’t rip my eyes away
from dust and broken dreams
for that I need Your hand
to make me whole again
I can’t muster love
or trust You on my own
I wish that I could turn
refuse the sin I snatch
but I know I never will
Don’t leave me here alone
don’t write me off as lost
You’re all I have and I’m so scared
this time You won’t come after me
Why would You come again
when my heart is cold to You?
While I’m still running from You
would You really bring me back?
But I hear Your voice again
and You alone know why
You’ve answered prayers from this cold heart
that tried so hard to mean the words
and never really did
I’ll never understand why You bring me back
but now I guess I know
why You let me run
Because I’d never see Your love
while it’s coursing through my veins
and filling my whole soul
with shouts of love and praise
It’s when I run so far
I cannot feel Your warmth
that I finally understand
that all my love was Yours
and You filled my empty soul–
for I second there I thought
I had something good to give
but it all was always Yours
And now You’ve come for me
and brought me home again.
I like this poem. It’s a snapshot of the internal tension that all Christians cycle through as the flesh wars against the Spirit. It’s nearly maddening those moments when we see our sin nature for what it is and realize just how distant our hearts would be from Jesus without the Spirit’s intervention. Yet, we have reason to be excited because the love that we do feel is genuine, alive, and growing thanks to God’s work in us. Seeing the valley helps us to be all the more amazed and awed by the mountain.
Regarding editing, don’t stress too much. What you’ve written is pretty sound. I don’t see a lot of ways that it can be improved upon without drastically altering what you’ve written. Though minor changes might improve the flow and readability, your poem is pretty good as is. I know it’s hard to be satisfied with one’s own writing, but I think you have good reason to be proud of what you’ve written in this particular poem.
Thank you, Raquel. Your poem is a lot like this past week for me.