A Road Less Travelled

So I’m cleaning up from dinner last night in something of a rush because Jonathan was coming and he, Raquel and I were going to see Iron Man (it was awesome) and I got to thinking. No doubt if someone had been watching me as I cleaned up that person would have assumed that I was thinking deep thoughts. My brow- furrowed. My eyes- squinted. My thoughts- not really the deepest. Right at the end of dinner I had this flash. I won’t call it a flash of brilliance, but it was a flash of something. I should make a list of bizarre super powers, the flash said. A couple had already jumped into my head and they were pretty weird. So, why not?, I thought. I’ll follow up on a stray thought I’d had that never needed to see the light of day and then I’ll post it in public. I know, I’m brilliant.

The List

-The ability to psychically know whether a dirty plate was scraped or not.
-The ability to boil water with rays from your eyes.
-The ability to detect every spice used in a dish even if it was an odd, unpronounceable spice you’ve never heard of before.
-The ability to turn anything into compost with bolts from your hands.
-A psychic link with every opossum you’ve ever known.
-The ability to distinguish milk chocolate from dark chocolate by touch, through the wrapper. If it’s dark chocolate you would also know the percentage of cocoa in the chocolate
-A cleaning detergent that sprays from your palms.

See, this is what I think about when I’m not writing witty blog posts or answering questions about scrambled eggs in space. Next time you see me with a furrow brow you might want to ask before you assume I’m pondering deep things. Now, all I need is super hero names to go with each of these powers…