“Apparently someone dislodged a chunk of apple from my brain, and I really don’t want to know how!”
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“Oh, I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to the invisible dolphin in front of you.”
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A short collection of recent quotes:
“There’s not much you can do with a sock and rubber band!”
“You need to put away your math book now, and come empty the dishwasher.” (It needs to be understood that this happened on a Saturday afternoon, when the culprit had apparently opted for some recreational math.)
“I’m juggling too many [...]
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 As Gabrielle has pretty well covered our travel experiences, I will merely share with you this memorable line which was said as we were stuck in traffic so bad we opened the doors and got out to stretch our legs (no, I’m not exaggerating). As always, the identity of the speaker will be kept hidden, [...]
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Yes, God gave us meat to eat, but not only that, apparently–
“God gave us vegetarians to eat, too!”
(As always, the quotee will remain anonymous.)
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 ”Now that you’ve been through the pit of death it might make you feel better.”
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 Yeah, that pit of death always just cheers me right up….ÂÂ
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 ”I want someone to lock me up against my will.”
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