A Road Less Travelled

 ”Don’t take hold of other people’s eyelids without permission.”

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“You’ve only got three rear ends…”

“After you get tied you have to come get your pants off the table.”

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“Is something wrong?”

“Yes–my spaghetti isn’t potty trained.” 

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Are there eyeballs on the ceiling I don’t know about?

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“Why are there no pins in this soap?”

 ”It’s to be funny.”

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“Drink from the harp and we’ll be fine.”

“After three beers and a whiskey I don’t think I’ll be juggling any eggs.

” “You didn’t do the thing where you grabbed the upside-down crown and your clothes fell off, did you?”

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Well, the kitchen sink is broken again. This makes the third time this year. Except this time we need a part. And the lovely people at the sink company are suspicious, power-snatching people so you have to order the parts directly from them. And so the kitchen sink is out of order and we have to wait five to seven business days for a new part. I say all of this merely to explain the next actual quote. “I’m gonna put some shorts on and climb into the bathtub with the dishes.”

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sea of headlights

lonely

in the mist

Here we are in Colorado. We travelled through rain , mist, and one looong stretch of highway with a complete dearth of restaurants. It became obvious to us that most of the population of Colorado never eats, but we finally arrived in Denver where they do indeed have food (it must be for all the visitors, because we now know that Coloradoans never eat). This may be the last blog post I get to write before the eighteenth when we will be home again. Unfortunately I have very little of interest to say. When I get back to Illinois my life will return to it’s normal state of crazy-full, but right now it’s a traveling kind of crazy-full which is not all that interesting to relate. Will the hotel breakfast contain anything besides sugary foods to feed to the children? Will the Spanish-speaking cleaning ladies try to force more clean towels on us before we need them? *suspenseful music swells* With a lack of topics more exciting that breakfasts and towels, I will give you our actual quotes from the trip thus far.

“She thought your hand was an entire pack of dogs.”

“You may not play with the machine gun in the car.”

“Hey! Who put crayons in my shoes?”

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We have returned from our many and adventurous travels. Gabrielle and I both plan to write up our experiences as blog posts at some point, but I think today we were both still recovering from our adventurous travels. While you’re waiting here are our actual quotes from the trip. As always these quotes are entirely anonymous and none of us accept any responsibility for them.

“I am not occupying the same underworld as them.”

“Fire escapes–they’re like alleys only they’re stairs.”

“You knew the guy in the orange hat would always be there…until the raid came.”

“Angsty fish hanging out in the shadows–what’s not to like?”

“No, no, I’ll get it–you have blood on your hands.”

“It’s very loud.” “So’s the beef.”

“When you want to boil something in burning oil… I mean, you can’t wait around for these things.”

“My saliva burns you alive.”

“Could you get your glass out of my pocket?”

“Come here, let me smell your lips.”

“Masked assailants don’t usually tickle.”

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“After I drain the blood out of it you can play with it.”

“If it were fixed it wouldn’t be leaking…blood.”

“You still have…blood on your hands.”

“I think she bought the one I thought I had.”

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