Which is probably why that whole “In All Things” title is so important. Just cause I’m feeling all tired and crabby and overwhelmed doesn’t mean there isn’t something to be grateful for here. I’m a little lost as to whether I should be thankful for the badness itself or for the growth that’s gonna come spiraling out of it. That seems like a fine hair to be splitting so I’m just gonna be thankful for this day in general. For the grayness and the fatigue and whatever might be happening later on tonight and that yucky feeling in my face. For all of that I’m gonna be thankful.

As thankful as I am for my dad that’s not what this post is about. But talking to my dad every week has helped me understand what I am thankful for.

Today I am thankful for the weekly gathered worship of our Father. We as a church get together and we dial up our Father. We talk to Him about what’s been going on with us, listen as He speaks to us through the Bible, try to express how good He is to us and bring all our burdens to lay at His feet. Then He tells us He loves us and we tell Him we love Him and we out into our week. I never feel right if I can’t be there for whatever reason. The week isn’t the same because I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to my Dad. Yeah, I can talk to Him anytime I want to just like I can call up my dad anytime I need to talk to him. But it’s not the same. There are other things going on, other matters to focus on. He’s still delighted to hear from me, but it’s different.

And yes, on Sunday morning I’m helping juggle kids and I’m usually tired already from the effort of getting everyone out the door, but as frazzled as I am it’s still special. A special time to talk to Dad. And for that I am sincerely thankful.

I guess that makes me prime straight-jacket material because I wouldn’t have it any other way. From the inside looking out, life outside of the Church is terrifying. I promised a group of people I would look out for them and they promised me they’d get my back. You don’t get that same sort of solemn vow made before God outside.

So I suppose it’s a good thing our Father doesn’t run on human intelligence. His wisdom and his sense of humor are boundless which is how we ended up with the Church as we know it. A bunch of misfits all lumbering in twenty different directions while our Dad smiles and somehow makes our childish attempts work out. We are the Church, the chosen, the worst of the worst and the beloved. We are a bride being groomed for a husband who proves His love for us every single day. May we ever stand to give Him praise. Amen.

Every day we make new dirty clothes. Every single day the members of this household churn out dirty clothes like they’re going out of style. So while I might be able to get a lot of the clothes clean I will never, ever get all of the laundry done. Still, I can dream, right? I can hold on to the hope that one day all of the laundry will be clean. That someday I will be able to close the washing machine forever and buy laundry detergent no more. That one day I will be able to throw my laundry baskets away or at least decided to use them for toy boxes or some such. On that day, that glorious day, we will apparently all be running around naked because that is the only way it is ever gonna happen.

Hmmm, kinda puts doing the laundry into a new perspective. I’m thinking I’ll stick with doing the laundry because that there alternative is just horrifying. Still, I’m thankful for clean laundry. It’s a good thing.

“Arise”

We will make it out alive
There’s a note in the pages of the book
So Sleep tonight,
We’ll sleep dreamlessly this time
When we awake we’ll know that everything’s alright

And sing to me about the end of the world
End of these hammers and needles for you

Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for,
There’s still strength left in us yet
Hold on to the world we all remember dying for,
There’s still hope left in it yet

The snow on your face, and your razor blades
The twilight is bruised and there you lie

And sing to me, about the end of the world
End of these hammers and needles for you
We’ll cry tonight, but in the morning we are new
Stand in the sun, we’ll dry your eyes

Hold on to the world we all remember fighting for,
There’s still strength left in us yet
Hold on to the world we all remember dying for,
There’s still hope left in it yet

And sing
Sing
Arise

Arise and be,
All the you dreamed, all that you dreamed

Arise and be,
All the you dreamed, all that you dreamed

Arise and be,
All the you dreamed, all that you dreamed

Arise and be,
All the you dreamed, all that you dreamed

Thank you, Seth and Crystal, for putting the time into me. I really appreciate it even if I still have to get up the next morning. Thank You, Jesus, for putting me here in this household. I know that life could have gone a very different way for me otherwise and a third of why I’m me is because of my time spent living here. I’m kinda happy with the me I’ve got so I thank You for the time You gave.

No problem. He would just spend all of Thursday sick while Crystal and I blitzed around the house trying to get it clean or whatever approximation of clean the children would let us maintain. Crystal and Adiel were on the phone with each other figuring out contagions and plans. They were still planning on coming. They were leaving in the middle of Thursday night and showing up Friday afternoon hopefully with enough time to crash for a bit before the festivities that night. As of Thursday evening they were coming. Then Adiel started feeling sick.

I got a call around 9 o’clock Thursday night. It was Josh. They were going to sleep at their house that night and see how Adiel felt in the morning. We would know if they were coming sometime Friday morning. Okay, not what I’d been planning on, but it was still something. I went to bed.

Friday morning the Gardners got in touch with us and said that they were coming, but now they were going to leave around 11 or 12 o’clock their time. They were going to miss the Night of the Burning Plum, but they were still coming. Groovy. Also, last I’d heard Seth was feeling better so we’d all be at the Lansberry’s that night and we’d be hosting the after-party afterwards. Again, not what I’d planned, but still fine and fun.

Then I find out that Seth is now doing worse. Stuff, stuff, more stuff and I end up going to the Night of the Burning Plum alone with five children. It was a good time, a really good time, then we come home and cancel the after-party. While we were gone Seth coughed up a popcorn kernel. Apparently he’d inhaled it on Sunday and it had spent the entire week in his lungs causing infection. He was feeling better now, but nowhere near well. So I hung out on the couch by myself waiting for Josh and Adiel to show up.

They got here and we had a really good visit over the weekend. It was loud and crazy, exhausting and very difficult to move through the sea of children. It was good; just nowhere near what had been planned. It didn’t even have line of sight on the original plan. I’m not sure it was in the same area code as the original plan. But it was still good.

So today I am thankful for God’s plans. I don’t get how, but nothing goes wrong for God. From His perspective everything is going according to plan. He never gets thrown a curveball, though I wonder if He gets a kick out of throwing them.

But I don’t want to. I hope that doesn’t sound horrible, I really do. I have nothing against veterans and I do feel they should be honored as those who put their bodies on the line. But to honor the soldier is to call to mind the war. And I am so tired of fighting. Of physical fighting that leaves families and bodies broken. Of our spiritual war that sucks the joy from our bones and leaves us on our knees in the night begging, simply begging for relief. So, no, I am not going to devote this post to our veterans, though they should be thanked.

I am thankful today for the promise our King has given us of peace. He promised that one day there will be no more wars in the land and that we will find peace for our souls. We will lay down our arms and be able to put down our shields we’ve had to hold around our hearts. All tears will be wiped from our cheeks and we will dance. All of the stories of death and fear will lose their power to hurt. They will point to our King and Savior while He sits on the throne and rules us in perfect peace. For that promise I am thankful today.